The Gamer Types (2)

Gamers are a very diverse group of Super-human athletes. They are thought to be cell divisions from the President of the game company Nintendo. While the Gamers are regarded as regular humans, they have amazing talents and abilities. They have been known to be able to play video games for days at a time living on Ballz energy drinks and Cheetos or Doritos; occasionally you may hear of one dying while playing games. These Gamers, however, are of a foreign variety and are considered to be oddities even by the Gamers themselves. The Gamers can also live without things that normal people need such as "human interaction","daylight" or "women".

(Side Note:) True to popular belief, Gamers will perish in direct sunlight, fear garlic, will burn when sprayed with holy water, and can only be killed by a silver bullet... well a silver bullet or days and days of non-stop World of Warcraft, either one. Unlike people they can never get a tan, and in rare cases their skin will begin to fry. This can be prevented with new lead based sun block.

Although Gamers are inherently diverse, they feel the need to segregate themselves so as to provide the arena in which and the tools with which to commence verbal battles with each other. Several evidences also indicate this sub-division was designed to further confuse you. (Need reference) Typically, Gamers are anti-social. This is particularly evident in their propensity to consider long hours of chat-room flaming to be an acceptably sociable event. Often, Gamers are accused of "having no life". Comments such as this are usually followed by further flaming and occasionally the suggestion that said Gamer should in fact "get a life". In response to this, gamers will get ‘half-life’ so they can say that they have a form of life. It appears that in the heat of the moment, the absurdity of the logic behind such conversation evades the participants. Commonly Gamers will remain virgins up to and most likely beyond the age of 50. Having introduced this background knowledge, the topic of the aforementioned sub-divisions will now be breached. But these people live in the game and game is real life.


PC Gamers
PC gamers are known playing three types of games: First person shooters (FPS), Real Time Strategy (RTS) and Role-playing games (RPG). They are very needy and constantly complaining that their needs aren't suited. They most commonly spend their time playing World of Warcraft, Everquest 2, Counter-Strike, Counter-Strike Source (CSS for the geeky people),Unreal Tournament, Battlefield 1944 or Battlefield 2142. And for the more indepth gamer, there are MODs for their favorite games on big sites. When not at play, the PC Gamer is busy at work camping the forums and posting topics complaining that the game is unbalanced and broken. They complain about every aspect of the game yet have been playing non-stop since the beta. This is one of the greatest mysteries of the PC Gamer, which no one has yet to solve. Governments all over the world are giving off prize money for whoever can solve this mystery, most of it is to pay for medical bills.

PC gamers have also been known for scorning all consoles and handhelds. They see them as unnecessary and that half of their games are abominations from a country called Japan. They hate Japan more than anything and believe that only Europe or North-America should get any games. They complain that games from Japan have horrible voice acting but none of them realize how stupid Japanese voices already sound, and how bland American and European voices sound to the Japanese. They complain that the PC has the only form of RPGs out there yet they have never ever heard of Final Fantasy.

PC gamers have one group of friends and gather in heards to play their games together for many hours on end. They are looked down upon and are that in the bottom of the food chain. Their daily schedule consists of going to school, coming home and playing. Then eating and playing till they go to bed.
Surgeons Warning: Try to evade most of them. Not to be confounded with the "Couch Gamer".



Gamerstation's Warning: These posts are not meant to be offensive but rather comedic. Please do not take them seriously.