The Gamer Test Lab: Gym Class Edition

Since the vast amount of Gamers fall into the category of being between ages 18-35, I felt that this next test will be appropriate. Most of these Gamers haven't stepped into a gym from when they were last in High School Gym Class, and from my records, virtually none of them have performed any of the tasks they had to in that class since. There were various exercises and tests that students had to go through during gym class, but no two tasks were more hated by the fat people than The Rope Climb and Dodgeball. These two activities in High School Gym Class were considered an absolute dread to the Gamers, but because the astounding EVG has surprisingly completed the past three tasks, I became curious as to how it could overcome its breed's natural weakness of gym class.
The Rope Climb was the first test I asked the Gamers to perform. The only completion of this task was to ring the bell at the top. Their chances of climbing the rope now may have increased due to better hand-strength from gripping the controllers and increased heart-rate from the heart-attack-hot-pockets. I positioned the three normal Gamers at their respective ropes then blew the whistle and they were off. Literally each one climbed up about ten feet or so and well...fell off. The EVG was then up next. I did the same with it and as it began pull on the rope, the roof began to bend at the EVG's attempt to climb until finally the rope snapped bringing the bell along with it. The EVG waddled to where the bell landed and rang it. Now there was only one test left and it tested the agility and reflexes of the Gamers.
The infamous gym class sport of Dodgeball was their last test of the day, and because Dodgeball is considered a team sport, I thought 'Why not?' and put all the Gamers on the same team against the National Dodgeball Champions. The whistle for the match was blown and the test was under way. The three Gamers were attempting to dodge the flying kickballs while the EVG was just standing still. The Champs noticed this and started aiming for the fat EVG. Two Champs threw kickballs at the EVG and when they hit it, the impact from the kickballs had enough force to be embedded into the soft bulbous tissue of the EVG declaring the two Champs out. The other Gamers stopped in amazement and the other two Champs pelted these three in their faces knocking them out. All that was left was the EVG and two Champs. Both Champs threw at the same time and the same result happened! One ball was caught in the EVG's belly fat while the other one wedged itself into its third chin knocking the last two Champs out. The EVG was again victorious....