What does a gamer do when he's not gaming? That is a good question. This was actually not supposed to be a two-parter, but I just thought of some more stuff to add. Now that that is out the way, let's get back to the subject. What do gamers do on their non-gaming time? Last time I wrote about how a gamer will collect "schwag", usually something that pertains to the videogames he is currently not playing. So, when he doesn't play games, he plays with stuff that has to do with games. In addition to this curious addiction to schwag, the gamer also likes to do other things (besides playing videogames, that is).
The gamer likes to watch the TV. I mean, it makes sense when you think about it, since videogames are on the TV, all he has to do is turn the console off, and he can watch shows! He doesn't even have to move, except for the turning off the game console part, but he wouldn't even have to worry about that because some game controllers have the off button on it. Never again will the game have to worry about "moving" or "exercise". His source of sleep and entertainment is on his gaming couch. Even better is if he has a tiny fridge within reach of the couch, then you can add sustenance to that list as well. Getting back to the TV, gamers like to watch TV almost as must (I put emphasis on "almost") as they enjoy videogames.
They will watch about anything, but it mostly consists of gaming channels and cartoons.
The reason for the gaming channel is obvious, but the reason they watch cartoons is because their lack of movement, sunlight, and a balanced diet has left their brains a hollow shell of their former selves, sort of childlike. It's like someone put their brain in a blender and pressed the puree button (Obviously this is a metaphor for lack of intelligence, not a literal statement). The only things left in their heads is the uncanny ability to play videogames, and the ability to survive solely on Vault and Hotpockets. Oh yeah, it seems to give them Tourette's Syndrome, which is a condition that can cause you to swear all the time, which makes sense since gamers are professionals at putting people down with inappropriate language. The only good thing that arises from this gamer condition is that their audio memory is increased a thousand-fold, allowing them to listen and memorize quotes from all their favorite movies, shows, and commercials. Just try it, walk up to a gamer and ask him about an episode of Star Trek or something, and he will quote the entire episode, even the sound effects from the ship, lasers, etc. Unfortunatelu, Aall these things result from being a gamer, but the gamers don't mind, since they don't have the brain function to think otherwise.
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